I loathe myself, my life. I want to die, just lie here and cease. How can anyone feel anything for me but hate, pity, disgust? Hope hovers, waiting for surrender, wanting to be found.

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Nothing tastes as good as abstinence feels. (Program saying) Food galore, and great stuff — times past I would have gorged all day. Such a special day, surrounded by family, friends, good folk. Stress, feelings, turmoil within, about. Alcohol, cake, chips, […]

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“Do, or do not. There is no try.” Was Yoda a Twelve-Stepper? He was always aware of the Power, the Force, greater than he. Anonymity initiated his relationship with Luke, though afterwards he revealed himself, shared his strength. He certainly […]

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If I never leave the basics, I never have to get them back. But where are they, what are they? Basics are fundamentals, the principles… Admitting powerlessness, I look inward honestly — honesty is a principle. What could be more […]

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This program is real, the steps are real and finally I am real. ~ Brittany Like the velveteen rabbit or Pinocchio real finally comes, the life-lottery won. I was an android mimicking life, acting as if, playing the role, always […]

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