Dealing with Resentment

A troubled computer led to using old material for today. This is a blog entry from October, 2009.

When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and everyone. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 67)

She said, “Sorry for the late notice.” But I want to tell her just how sorry she really is! It feels like I’m doing more than my share already. I know I’m a “volunteer.” I know I’m doing more than I should because I don’t ask for help well. And I’m about to go eat in a place both for breakfast and for lunch where my ability to control and eat within my food plan will be challenged. Heck, for the second, I’m in charge of bringing the desserts!
I heard a couple of weekends ago that courage to change the things I can means from my skin in; serenity to accept the things I can’t is those things skin out. So I’m sitting here working on the skin in, planning for skin out.
I came to the 5th chapter today to find a different passage, one I need:

We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 68)

I jumped up and left this when I realized what time it was this morning. The day went well. The restaurant had food I could eat abstinently, as did the meeting at noon. I’ve had a good day, and the resentments didn’t drive me to the food and now basically are damped and dying.
I listened to OA speakers driving today, and one notable quote was that forgiveness means giving up our dream of a different past. Neat quote. Good day. And good night.