Regrets

I don’t want to project. But man it’s so hard. Regrets don’t get us far. Changing who you are does… Wow. This is like a shitty 4th and 5th step. ~ M.G.

Hindsight is convincing. The paradox is that the more we trip, but pick ourselves up and move ahead with determination, the more self-assured and thus loving we’ll become. ~ Casey, Karen. Worthy of Love: Meditations on Loving Ourselves and Others (Hazelden Meditations) (p. 71). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

We don’t recover overnight.
We change, yes, but it’s a journey,
a path winding on year after year.
We cover it not with purposeful strides
one after another but kind of with a dance step,
one forward then two not quite that far
but side by side on the path behind.
We deal with our regrets but find a new crop
we could not fathom when we first began
the Recovery Dance. Cattle guards,
streams to wade, the path is seldom easy.
but we pick ourselves up, move on,
on the path that’s less than clear.
We know the way, just sometimes tarry
in less than ideal spots. Sometimes resentments
appear like tangled roots where footfalls
require mincing steps.  And we cannot march on
but must think them through, see our part
and admit it to ourself, to God, and to someone else.
It takes time but we gain self-esteem
and better like the company we keep
as we continue up the trail.