Through the years no matter what I did

I failed to live a life I’d choose for you
to see, embarrassed, I would not want
to do the things I did though of course I chose to
or at least did not choose to consider, to see
I had a choice, but struggled on, miserable, me
unable to cope, struggling with compulsion, broken.
Then I found a solution, a fellowship welcomed me bowed
and bloody, helped me accept help, to bow my head,
surrendering, to the point I could tolerate myself and
all of you, face fears and people, head not lowered,
and embrace the world and you, looking in your eyes.