It is reasonable to have certain and well-defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends. ~ Melody Beattie. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 366)

It’s axiomatic in recovery,
“What you do is none of my business.”
Can that be true and at the same time,
“It is reasonable to have certain
and well-defined expectations
of our spouse, children, and friends.”
If one individual for ten years or so
has gathered trash, put it in the dumpster
and set the dumpster at the curb
Sunday and Wednesday evenings,
is it reasonable to expect that to be true
this  week? Well, no, because chances are
trash trucks will not run the route
on Christmas Day. But who can challenge
the status quo? If I change what I do
is that not my right? But is it an effort
to challenge what another does not do?
How does someone stop doing a chore
that seems beyond reasonable division
of duties fairly, impartially, without
it’s being an effort to control?
“What you do is none of my business.”
“And it is reasonable to have certain
and well-defined expectations
of our spouse, children, and friends.”