Many of us develop clever methods of surviving in an alcoholic situation, such as denial or secrecy. But once we have the support of the Al-Anon program, we may find that our old methods do more harm than good. ~ Courage to Change,  page 230

Secrets. The story of my life.
If you don’t tell, yo don’t get in trouble.
Right? Wrong. You just dread it
until it comes out and then get in trouble
not only for  “it” but for hiding it.
I have a right to make decisions
not only in my work, no matter which,
or in organizations, or even
in things that affect only me.
I have a right to decide more than the menu,
more than what I’m going to do
while he’s doing what I don’t want to
and when I’m not doing what I’m told to.
I have the right to decide. But I have a duty
that goes with it. I should be kind,
considerate, open, honest.
I should treat him like I dearly wish
I would be treated. And in the meantime
I ought to tell him the current big secret
and remind him of the one I told him about
that will come in a couple of week.
I have the right to decide to be healthy
and right now I’m only as healthy
as the secrets I don’t feel compelled to conceal.