Detachment is not isolation, nor should it remain focused on not enabling the sick behavior of the past. Detachment is not a wall; it is a bridge across which the Al-Anon may begin a new approach to life and relationships generally. ~ Al-Anon: Family treatment Tool in Alcoholism

I don’t have to make excuses,
to rescue, to comply with his wishes
through resentment and belligerence.
I can’t fix him, remake him, remodel him,
convince him to change his ways.
And it’s okay. I can quit hating him
while I obey him, can quit making excuses
for his actions, excuses to me and those to the world.
I’m not responsible but that doesn’t mean
I turn over-caring to ignoring,
rescuing to throwing under buses.
I can treat him with respect not because of oughts
but because of wholehearted understanding
of his brokenness…and of mine.