If I did not look fear in the face, I would not know what it was made of; and if I did not know my fears, I would not feel them. Compulsive overeating did an admirable job of helping me bury my fears alive. ~ For Today (Kindle Locations 1900-1901).

I can hold fear at bay for a while,
in little pieces. After all…procrastination
means chronic, low-intensity fear.
I’m good at procrastination.
But at bay is still there, omnipresent,
oppressive, suffocating, choking.
Food works, too, smothering, strangling,
slamming it down, hiding it,
buried under frosting, ice cream, sugar…
Compulsion – any kind…genealogy,
knitting, puzzles, stupid computer games,
work, study, busy-ness – keeps it away,
hides it, postpones it. But it’s still there.
Until it’s not. It took time to know how,
but it’s simple, easy as it can be…
“We ask Him to remove our fear
and direct our attention
to what He would have us be.
At once, we commence to outgrow fear.”*

 

*Alcoholics Anonymous (Kindle Locations 990-991).