This is how to influence the nervous, contentious people I know: go to any length to get and keep my own peace of mind. ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. For Today (Kindle Locations 3414-3415). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

contentious:  causing or likely to cause an argument;
controversial; involving heated argument;
 a person given to arguing or provoking argument;
a contentious politician haranguing a crowd;
law relating to or involving differences between contending parties.

How can you change what you  expect to be a difficult encounter?
Go to any length to get and keep my own peace of mind.