How did I fall back into this pattern, sitting at the drive-through window where the oriental woman who works it will ask what I want but already knows, “One apple fritter.” And she tells me, “One dollar, twenty-five cents” as […]
Continue reading »My Old Saturday-Morning Movie
Thinking I was such a wretch I’d do nothing but eat, hiding in the car or sneaking food when everyone else slept or while I cleaned the kitchen. I’d about eaten myself into a plus-sized casket. Hating myself, blaming others, […]
Continue reading »Setting Standards
When I look back now, it’s hard to imagine I didn’t see a problem with my drinking. But instead of seeing the truth when all of the “yets” (as in, that hasn’t happened to me—yet) started happening, I just kept […]
Continue reading »Always
Suggestions. The “steps we took” suggested as a program of recovery. So they don’t bind me, don’t order, leave me in control. But do they? Always lies scattered through the text, the most beautiful, “they will always materialize if we […]
Continue reading »I Take It Back
All your life I’ve hovered, judged, second guessed, taken seriously the obligation to control your life even now, a decade plus since you’ve been grown and gone. But now I know it’s none of my business, your side of the […]
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