How do I become who I want to be?
Maybe in some minor ways by deciding,
choosing a path then taking it.
Maybe that’s possible…
when I’ve already drawn near.
Then there’s the coming to believe.
Not deciding to believe, not resolving to,
but that wondrous initial trust,
that idea that maybe…just maybe…
the path could be open to me,
the one others seem to walk.
A kind of getting-to-know=you,
of trusting just because nothing else
gives any hope. Some credence
that seems inherent, logical, natural.
Then tidbits of plausibility,
examples in your life, maybe in friends
when you’ve been there, up close,
personal, an  involved observer.
Witnessed improbabilities.
A certainty that something’s there,
a curiosity, an interest…a hook.
But unwilling to invest, unable to risk.
Curious, but passive, open to questions
in answer to questions leading to inquiry.
No longer passive, actively interested,
seeking, accepting the quest.
Standing open, vulnerable, ready to receive
the unexplainable, the unexpected,
the unworldly.
Coming, curious, ready, open,
prepared to offer your truth,
your heart.
Asking like the Baptist,
Are you the one, or do we wait longer?
Buying in, investing the bank, fully convinced,
You/this/here is my path.
God, help me, here is my path.