That First Glimmer

…that first glimmer of compassion for myself… ~ Miranda O

Confident, you think?
You judge me respectable?
I grin to myself, relieved
to have fooled you, pulled it off.
I can certainly tell you my talents,
my brags, my aptitudes
if only to keep you eyes averted
from all the weakness, from ineptness,
from incompetence. Mostly,
I just hope you’ll look away,
see someone else, move along.
Why do you think I dress plainly,
bland, disparaging bling?

But wait. You don’t care.
I tell you the worst, and you love me,
admit to such atrocities, to being like me
You love me no matter who I am.
And comprehending that,
I begin to discover it’s not all show…
I do have value.