Escaping the Squirrel Cage That’s my Mind

…the unknown, that free-floating world of happenings uncluttered by the squirrel cages of my control. I wasn’t willing to trust. I wasn’t willing to learn or change. I wasn’t even willing to be willing, and that is the first condition of working with God on any problem….
Any excessive indulgence opens me up to feeling I can do it all, have it all, control it all—ego-whip the world with my will. And that kind of behavior doesn’t work anymore. ~ P., Bill; W., Todd; S., Sara. Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps Six and Seven (pp. 82-83). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The squirrel cage…
meaning my mind
with intent to act
in my perceived best interest?
That sounds like
the pandemonium,
the chaos that was my life
before Recovery…
my life when I
was unwilling to be willing,
when I trusted only
the mind that brought me there.
I want out of the squirrel cage
of that surreal-ity!
I want to change, to learn.
I want to row the boat
but let the Holy Spirit
choose the course,
give the orders.
I hereby set aside
the control, the route,
I give up the mindset
that doesn’t work
no matter now hard
I try to control!

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