Cherish the Awful

Cling to the thought that, in God’s hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have—the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. ~ World Service, Alcoholics Anonymous. The Big Book and A Study Guide of the 12 Steps. Anonymous Publishing. Kindle Edition.

We hated ourselves when we wallowed
in food fog day after day, when
people were in our way, meddling,
telling us what we knew but swallowed
along with the binges, could hate
the clerk who knew us, knew what
we would order, how many days
we’d done it again. We despised them
because we loathed ourselves,
how unmanageable our lives,
how powerless over food.
But we’re not that person now.
and admitting the nightmare we lived,
exposing the darkness of the abyss,
can actually help others like us
to understand at last the life
that awaits when we surrender
and the horror becomes
a gift we can give of daily joy
amid the serenity of surrender.