I was to analyze my character defects
before tomorrow. And to write a poem.
So, two birds, one stone.
Procrastination, failure to take action,
that’s a biggy! Frequent anger.
at me as much as toward anyone else.
Overly anxious…can I claim that
and apathetic as well?
Overly apologetic. Daddy told me
sixty years ago, “don’t be sorry, don’t do it!”
Arrogance, not so much these days, yet remnants.
Avoiding confrontation? That’s not fair,
it’s self-interest. But living a lie, as well.
Beating myself up? I’m sorry. I really am
or believe I am.
Boastful. Even if it’s incongruous with self-flagellation.
Codependent, guilty as charged!
Avoiding communication (read smalltalk.)
Complaining. Including this list?
Cowardice. Present!
Dishonesty, every kind of it:
Direct lies: Not telling the truth.
Lies of Omission: What did I need to say
to this person so they knew how I honestly felt?
Was I wrongfully silent?
Lies to Self: Telling me I’m not good enough.
I’m stupid. I’m not smart enough. I’m unworthy.
Disorganized, yep, like this poem.
Envious, Fearful,
Gluttony, it’s my nature.
Not asking for help. Oh, yeah!
Impatience. Insecure in my own skin
Irresponsible. Don’t ask!!
Messy. And blaming it on someone else!
Pessimism
Physical health, neglect of.
Playing God — sigh!
Procrastination
Remorseful
Secretive (Don’t tell anybody!)
Self Pity
Self-absorbed
Sloth
Ungrateful, unable to do a gratitude list.
Worry. Did I do this right?
“My Creator, I am now willing
that you should have all of me,
good and bad.
I pray that you now remove from me
every single defect of character
which stands in the way of my usefulness
to you and my fellows.
Grant me strength,
as I go out from here,
to do your bidding. Amen.”