I’m yours, God. I give up,
it’s all up to you.
Take away my fear, my jealousy,
my prevarication, my pridefulness.
Strip away my character defects
and make me perfect.
Not that I’m not close already,
almost perfect, and others may think it
but there’s more that can be done,
I’ll confess to you. A little bit.
Zap away my weaknesses,
remove my habits, my reflexes,
my comfortable behaviors
that long ago began to ruin me.
Take over, God. Fix me.

But why doesn’t it work?
Aren’t you listening?
I eat because I’m nervous,
because it feels right,
and you don’t stop me.
I lie to keep people liking me.
You don’t stop my anger,
my fear, my longing.
I’ve turned it all over to you.
But you seem to expect me
to do my best, to turn to you,
to keep up the relationship,
to be obedient!
That’s lots harder
than if you would just
zap me perfect…