I was grown before I began
to wonder about faith, to look at the church,
to ask questions. But I was curious
and I kept on. I went to an old man,
a minister, but retired, one foot in the grave,
and asked him about how to learn,
how to know if I belonged, how to grow.
He asked me a question I didn’t understand
and said nobody knew the answer but me.
But that meant that nobody knew,
because I didn’t have a clue as to,
“What is your name before God?”
But he said God knew and that I could
if I listened. I wanted to know.
But I still didn’t. I left, disappointed
but asked again and again, stopping,
sitting just by myself, staring off
into space. And I listened. I heard nothing.
But all of a sudden it wasn’t true
that nobody knew. Because the answer
was in my head, or maybe just my heart.
I’m querier and God knew that
and knows more…all that I want to know.