She learns to do what she agrees promptly
encouraged by his disappointment
expressed as anger when she slips.
She learns to get her worth from inside,
independent of his appraisal of her.
She learns discretion as to where lines
must be drawn, where they don’t belong,
how to be available to be an us.
She learns the concept of servant leadership
doing what he expects, knowing
she doesn’t owe but can give without benefit
of gratitude as payment, acknowledgement.
She learns to tolerate opinions she doesn’t share,
to think through why she doesn’t,
to hold her counsel, confident
she’s not called on to explain.
She learns she can’t change him
by telling him how to be, by reasoning,
by doing everything possible for him,
to let him know she cares, by seeking praise,
gratitude, a kind word, her daddy saying
at each meal’s end, “Very good, Mz. B.”
She learns to do what she didn’t think she could
because he asks, because if she doesn’t
it won’t be done, because she can’t stand
to disappoint him. She learns she can’t avoid
disappointing him, that it doesn’t matter
when she can’t make him happy,
can’t change him, that what he does,
what he thinks, what he says
is none of her business but that hers
is.