The Non-Swingers

I watch those who were zapped abstinent
and have kept it for years. I look at them
askance, sometimes, expecting them
to have swing like a pendulum
back to old patterns, to the eating insanity
that I experience all too often, getting
through tough times then relaxing,
letting down the guard, and slipping down
to self-hatred, to insanity, to gorging,
to depravity. Does everyone have these swings?
No. They don’t. They’ve figured out just what it means
to go to any lengths to finally have recovery
that lasts for years of surrender, of living it
one day at a time.

pendulum