About that Pain

My disease used to tempt me into thinking being abstinent “made me” feel the pain. Today, I understand that the more uncomfortable my feelings, the greater the freedom I’ll experience by walking through the situation abstinently. ~ Voices of Recovery (Kindle Locations 1387-1379).

Food fog. So stuffed you want to sit in the den
with football games parading one after another
and thanks given before the meal, antacids taken afterwards.
Stuffed like a turkey, sprawled all over a platter or couch
continuing to munch and groan and cram more inside.
Abstinence. Those first few days when suddenly it seems
the program works, the use of tools and reading,
of meetings and chats, or one-day-at-a-time sanity,
the food fog lifted so jagged words really feel like sticks, stones.
Recovery. Freedom to feel, to hurt, to long, to fear
but untied from the need to bring in the clouds, to eat
to oblivion, to mask the feelings and hide from hurts.
Food fog a memory, abstinence a practice, a habit,
a comfort, recovery a way of life.

buffet