“This is stupid!” I said it aloud,
getting into my car, talking to God.
The subject of the comment
was my purchase
at the convenience store
ironically named “Skinny’s.”
I had in my hands an apple fritter
and a cappuccino. Disgusted,
I ate it though the purchase,
the compulsion, the date of the
decision eight days before Christmas,
and my unquestioning commitment
to stop the compulsion —
not just start a new diet —
made no sense to my logical mind.
But logical doesn’t work, never did.
Surrender does. Even when it feels
so totally stupid.