Meaningless Activity

Tonight I am withdrawing into senseless activity. Why? What are my feelings? ANGER—I fear anger because I have used it to hurt others and myself. It is safer to hide it in some activity. ~ Voices of Recovery (Kindle Locations 3949-3951).

Do I do meaningless activities
because of anger? This woman says yes.
For her, at least, that’s the answer.
What say I? Is it anger? Not really.
That doesn’t feel right. Boredom,
evasion of chores that take prep,
time, concentration. I call it diversion,
doing something meaningless
while the poem, the project,
the activity du jour simmers
on the back burner. Sometimes
it’s anger, sometimes it’s fear.
Sometimes I’m just so tired
nothing else is worth doing
because I can’t make a mess
with the meaningless games.
And as long and I do the rest,
while I get the real work done,
the meaningless activity
holds real meaning.

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