Oh, that kindness thing. Sigh.

Why should I be kind? I’ve tried that,

been that, a dishrag of a person,

always in hot water, or all gunky

and needing hot water, wanting it

to have something to let me move

off dead center. I’ve wiped up messes

others made, no objection, my job,

no reason for thanks,

no expectation of acknowledgement,

doing it while expecting to be ignored,
doing it so I’d be ignored and could smirk
at their helplessness. Ratcheting myself up
by making someone lower, at least
in my eyes. Killing with kindness,

I guess. But the killing tended to be

in the nature of

suicide.