We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 30)

It’s really not that I’m not like other people.
That’s the myth I lived with most my life,
until I figured out how many of us
have  the same fears, the same insecurities.
The idea everybody else knew what was going on,
had the secrets I wasn’t in on —
that part was false. No, the delusion
I can’t cling to isn’t that. It’s about the behaviors
with comfort, or where I thought comfort could be found.
There, I’m different. I can’t eat what others can.
And I can’t fool myself into thinking I can when…
whatever the when may be.
But I’m not deprived. Because had I not had the addiction,
I’d never have found the joy of letting it go.