I did all the things that were suggested for me not to do… Now willing to listen and take suggestions, I have found that the process of discovering who I really am begins with knowing who I really don’t want to be. And although the disease of alcoholism inside of me is like gravity, just waiting to pull me down, A.A. and the Twelve Steps are like the power that causes an airplane to become airborne: It only works when the pilot is doing the right things to make it work. (“Safe Haven” from Alcoholics Anonymous, page 452 of 4th Edition)
He does grab your attention —
prison equals wonderful life and all.
You might expect him to want to dissolve
into the cell wall, wait out the duration,
spend the time reading program materials,
growing, learning, becoming, shedding fears.
No, he had to work to put his work here,
to share his story, his path to Recovery.
Lends credibility to the claim of doing
those disfavored actions, the un-suggested.
Now, as opposed to then, to before;
now meaning after accepting Recovery,
suggestions are for listening, for taking,
for doing. Suggestions followed
mean process blossoming, discovery
happening, knowing what? “Who I don’t
want to be?”
It’s a start.
It’s the start, knowing who not to be.
Admitted powerless, life unmanageable,
who I don’t want to be. Not a cure,
not transmogrification. The addiction stays,
waiting to pull me down, gravity personified.
Yet I have a plane, a way out, an instruction manual
fondly dubbed “The Big Book.”